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Today was really quite cheering. I woke around noon after a relatively restful night’s sleep. The mist had set in, but that was no bother; I think I could still hear the odd bird or two (crows, I think), which was enough. The leaves were everywhere in their golden splendor, decorating the grounds like fallen children playing ‘Ring a Ring o’ Roses’. Strange that I might equate that rhyme I haven’t heard sung in such a long time with something positive, I never did like it as a child; I was always afraid I wouldn’t get back up again. I didn’t like, and still don’t, to feel my heartbeat, perhaps for similar reasons. What if I felt it stop? Wouldn’t want to tempt fate. Can hearts know when they’re being listened to?
Sat in Malady for a while, writing some letters that I should have written many months ago. Most of them are simply dull and uninteresting. One of them… one of them will never be sent. Can’t be sent. But it helped eased my mind a little knowing that it was there, should I ever need to deliver it. I took great care to seal it in the envelope, and for now it shall stay with Malady. There’s a very old family set of drawers that hasn’t earned its keep thus far, well, now it can do. At the two forward facing corners of the wooden drawers are two snarling lion heads. I love to run my fingers over them, they’re very intricately carved, and I take special care to lightly run my fingers over the pointed teeth. Feels comforting, somehow. The uppermost drawer has a brass lock on it, but I can’t for the life of me remember where the key is. In fact, I’m not even sure what’s inside it, if anything, as it’s been so long since I opened it. Never mind, I put the letter in the drawer underneath. Once I find the key I shall put it in the locked one, until now it can remain in safety’s shadow.
Must be awfully boring lying in a wooden drawer, suffocated by the smell of old, dead wood. Just lying there. In the darkness. I think I’d sleep, waking upon being found. Perhaps I’d never wake up. But then, maybe it would be better that way.
After that was all done I sat in the library and did some reading. Can’t remember what I read, mind. I must have drifted off, for I awoke in the big chair sometime in the late afternoon. Truth be told I didn’t recognise the book I woke up next to. Somewhat tatty brown leather book. Had a beautiful design on it though. It was an angel weeping over a sarcophagus of some kind, with a giant snake coiled around it. I can’t make out the letters on the front. I’ll have to reread it sometime soon. I felt it was right to focus on the fact that I had actually done some reading, rather than dwell on my lack of remembrance. Reading’s a productive thing to do with one’s time. Learned men read a lot, after all.
I wished to write more, but I promised myself I wouldn’t waste this day getting lost in my own thoughts. My tea should be brewed by now, and I shall go attend to it by the fire. Might have to get myself a cat to keep me company by the fireplace. I imagine that’s where they like to curl up. I think I would like the company.
I still haven’t found my keys.
